JAYDABEST

finally over haha. i have so much to say about it.

gp and econs on the same day, wth? i tried writing with my right hand, but it was slow and ugly, haha. wednesday was even worse, with history an hour or so after lit. hard to study for and harder to do on the day itself. didn’t do very well for either, so whatever la. after history and lit i just felt like exams were over despite maths being on friday. haha. so while everyone were mugging very hard for maths, i was very laxing all the way. so mugging with hazel was more or less unsuccessful cause after 2 days all i did were 3 or 4 questions in total. at one point in time we spent 1 hour playing uno stacko in the welfare room. maybe not even that many. and plus i need like 49% for promos to sneak an S. and i assumed i wouldn’t be able to since i haven’t gotten anywhere near for the past 9 months before. soooooooo it was pretty shitty that the paper wasn’t as hard as i imagined it to be yesterday. like i thought i was damn imba after the first 5 qns. like wow never study also can do so much. lol but it all went haywire after that. i couldn’t do a single full question. so at the end of the paper when i calculated my maximum marks it was damn annoying: 40%. but i think i’ll get 30 plus. oh well. it’s only a difference of high or low U now anyway. i feel remotely guilty for not studying hard enough.
speaking of maths, i dreamed of a lot of things last night. no surprise, mr ang popped up! he kept scolding me for flunking maths. and i just came up with a lot of plausible excuses. pretty pathetic i was in my dream, to tell the truth. also dreamed of something else that’s worth thinking about, hmm.

ah. now that promos’ over i need to buy my shoes! i’ve a couple of old pairs but they aren’t comfy now. and all look kinda tattered. none can be beaten by my current one, of course… the Hol(e)y one!

look:

cute right. it used to have a face until the face became rubbed off by gravel and concrete somehow.

shit la my shoes last one year on average. this pair not even one year.

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saw nan laoshi two days ago. said hi to him but i think he doesn’t know who i am already. but he still looks very nice lol. i remember how 3g used to bully him, haha. when he left he told me that i am a guai hai zi and i’ll succeed in future or something. how true eh. hahahahahahaahah but then again i was very guai in front of the teachers all my life till college. ok la, i think i’m still compliant and obedient and whatnot most of the time.

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the post-promos schedule is messy until cannot be any messier. i don’t see the point. stupid pompous woman.

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zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz come for open house people i’m emceeing. hahahahaaaaaaaaha

EDIT:
About 11 hours before the start of GP exam (and 17 hours before Econs exam), i just finished watching Secret for the 3rd time. Kill me please.

right click view picture for the full picture(very good pun)

i only need 99% to get A for maths.
and 95% for the same for econs.

Unrealistic Target Setting: A for GP, B for Lit and History, D for Econs and E for Maths.

Very Realistic Prediction: BDDUU in the same order.

hahahaha jiayou everyone and thanks for the previous post’s comments i appreciate it

5 more days to freedom (haha sorry hp-ers and bio-ers)

i feel so messed up now i can’t concentrate and i’m very behind time tonight. but i guess if i don’t put it down somewhere i’ll never get over it and it makes me feel better this way so yeah. was looking through my isp grades and it’s the same old BUUDD. but it took on new meanings. when i think back, look back. why am i doing so bad. i’m not really talking about maths, that one’ s cause i’m plain lazy. but i like lit. and i used to find history manageable. everything makes me think about my incompetence. i’ve always been very egocentric and i feel i’m special somehow, even if i don’t excel in anything i do. now, come to think of it, the world, no one, nothing would have anything to lose if i don’t exist. it’s worse when i think about my future. i don’t know what is out there for me. if i can’t even get decent grades if i think hard, work hard, then what’s the point? lit h3, hahahaha. what a mockery when i can’t even get a simple point across in lesson. so much for having creative ideas. what a load of bullshit. seems like i’ll never be able to prove people wrong. and it seems i’ve let down high school hp. and i’m disgusted at myself for typing and publishing all this. so there.

And it has left me with one of the most fun and memorable times in council so far.

How do i even begin. It didn’t seem possible that my perception of this very special job would shift so much within such a short span of time, though 3 months can hardly be called short. But i applied for CG feeling that even if i don’t benefit from anything, i’d still enjoy the climbing. got quite a bit of disappointment when soon after we just started painting after painting, leaving the scaffold frames and crossbars in their stinky homes. but expectedly and gradually, it took a turn for a better. i guess the nature of the painting jobs just allowed everyone to interact a lot, interact being a severe understatement. hahaha. after awhile i came to realise that woankeng wasn’t the only person who’s very talkable and nice. the entire cgteam just came together perfectly.

at times it was quite bad. a lot of times i felt useless for not being able to paint properly, even though my dad does chinese painting. so in the end i just tried to find something useful i could do, which wasn’t easy every time. haha. but i guess towards the end when i felt more comfy with everyone it was natural to not be so calculative and i just helped out wherever i could most of the time. at least i hope i did. during scaffolding i guess i was more than eager to make myself useful, partly because of my inflated ego, to prove i’m useful or good at something. and partly to make up for not being useful during painting. haha but suffered from severe ego bustages occasionally either when i overestimated myself or people underestimated me, i think. woankeng and daryl said that they haven’t seen me in bad mood before, which i doubted at first because i’m very moody sometimes. but i thought about it and it was apparent that i’m always in good mood when i’m with the cgteam    ahhhhh.

come the actual day of MAF, it was more than hectic. totally crazy working from the start of the day till evening, then past midnight post-MAF. it was heart-wrenching to see that our brilliant waterfall dream couldn’t come true. but i guess what’s most important is that we tried our best, no doubt about it. in any case, it looked good, so it shouldn’t dampen our spirits too much. it feels so good when you see pictures of MAF-goers with OUR citygate as backdrop. satisfaction indeed.

and thanks everyone for the cards and notes. very touching

shoutouts! (copied from a certain rollaround again)

daryl yee! one of the best bosses around definitely. it really isn’t easy to coordinate and organise 10 or so people to focus on one task so well. and i think the way the team worked together with your instructions was seamless. and being a boss but at the same time exerting so little authority on us but commanding so much respect! thanks for tolerating with everything

woanie -.- best cgfriend hahahahaah. and best cg-working-partner haha. at least during the board-carrying days lol. very very good talking mate indeed. and a closet simchun if you know what i mean haha. i think you’re almost as nice as me.

sengboiz_90@ best artist award la haha. can’t imagine what cg will be like without you haha. i think cgteam is 147519875 times livelier cause of you. continue niaoing shimin! great guitar job on maf (:

jiannan? thanks 71598718951x for bearing with all the not-so-grand jobs i admire you for that(: very very helpful on the 2nd level haha. carry on being nice!!!

shimin: okay my hand very tired already from typing. but okay la. you’re very nice to talk to, very philosophical at times. haha thanks for secret! it’s for your own good la. and quite brave on the scaffolds with the rest of the cggirls. wow i think i’ve come up with a lot of my own terminology on cg. nvm lol.

yiming!  great working with you again though it’s something totally unlike dramafeste. you’re very strong and forceful i’m very scared of you hahahaha. no la i’m not we can fight it out sometime. okay you’re very nice to talk to as well thanks for being nice and hyper all the time!

xiuuuuu hahahahha what can i say. thanks i never knew you were that good at painting and all. and you’re way too reckless on the scaffolds, at least that night you were. leave all the suiciding to me ok! very manly hahahahaahahaha

peiwen! fellow horner. i think you’re very informative lol. continue being bubbly and cheerful and tell us more sick stuff! very brave too, you.

meijiao ngehwee xinyi & ying! for helping out soso much. meijiao and xinyi for risking your lives with us, ngehwee for climbing a bit too and physics help. and ying for painting. haha you’re all part of our cgfamily! like extended relatives. or cousins. haha whatever. thanks meijiao for being so spontaneous and exclaiming **** when the connector dropped. and xinyi for buspartnering and climbing in spite of your fear of heights. and ngehwee for being ever-friendly. dear mochie   and ying, i like talking to you a lot, really

okay i’ve spent an hour typing all these. it’s after much consideration, given the fact that >4 hours into maths, i’m not at all progressing. i’ve yet to solve a single full question. if i don’t get U for maths i’ll buy the entire cgteam drinks i swear. but guess i’ll persist for now, what else? i don’t want to drop maths to h1 next year leh):  i wish i tried for KI. it would have pwned maths any given second.

okay i don’t wanna talk about anything else in this post already. it’s dedicated to CITYGATE!

photos koped from everywhere: jiannan mr ngoh and shimin etc.

the painting days

scaffolding

the day when nothing worked

our very cute raindoll

too bright

i jump very high

doing what we do best

MAF CITYGATE ‘07 !!! 

yayyyyyyyyyy i FINALLY finished Beloved today! grand achievement considering how i predicted i’d never finish it even after promos. but it’s really quite dismal to finish reading a lit text like 7 months after i started on it. and passing all the assignments and tests on it so far haha wow. but i guess i’m never gonna fulfill my wish at the start of the year, of taking lit h3. oh well. actually come to think of it, now it doesn’t mean as much to me. i wonder why.

maf work sessions are finally taking a toll on me. having enjoyed the initial moments of climbing, i’m now fully stigmatized! oh all the trauma of balancing a plank two scaffold-storeys up. and dropping boards and drilling holes. and bulging crotches, the product of tight kinky harnesses. THE GLORY OF BEING A TRUE BLUE CITYGATER HAHA. i adore every single one of them omg i think it wouldn’t have been the same if one was out. so let’s work hard for our 2 last work sessions and all the way yay!

last night also went to yuxuan’s house with him and calv and qs and yy to have some pointless fun after our dinner at kap. and fun it was; we played winning eleven and it was really entertaining hahhahahaha. also kajiaoed random ppl with qs. hahahahah it’s so meaningless it’s funny.

SIGH I CAN’T FOCUS ENOUGH TO MUG EFFICIENTLY I’M SO DAMN DEAD.

ah i have really, really so much to say, yet at the same time i feel like i’ve nothing to say.

i wouldn’t call yesterday’s TD celebrations a rousing success, but i guess it hit expectations. flower sales went better than we thought, but it goes to show that I made a wrong judgment by ordering much less than last year’s. i guess everything generally went alright. but during evaluation everyone was being honest about the stuff that we could have done better, and it was very saddening. because people said that work session was way too messy and we didn’t teach them to wrap the flowers. but we did have a live demonstration and i said we weren’t standardising for fear that we’d restrict the creativity and artistic sense of everyone. and i did convey to everyone at the start our plan and production line, but not a single person followed instructions or raised questions during the session. added to the fact that in spite of the mess, it was generally efficient and people got the job done. so what should i have done? i don’t know, and that makes it worse. i must admit that manpower for actual day was last-minute, but no one tried clarifying. in the end there were almost no mobile sellers. but luckily the booths functioned well and we got the sales. all i’m saying is, it was mostly our fault, but it was disappointing to witness the attitudes the rest of the people accorded to us. and how gek kept apologising and blaming ourselves and herself for messing up stuff. even though this short TD journey i’ve been very pissed at her for constantly getting pissed at us (which actually is our fault i must admit) and her hard-liner attitude at times, i do feel sorry for her. and like kahleng said gek’s been extremely stressed the whole period. so actually i do feel quite guilty. aiyah, this is so irritating. it’s over yet it leaves such an imprint. and the stigma of not being able to change anything now. rah. i really hope i’ve done enough for TD publicity and flowers. i couldn’t bring myself to smile for the pictures after the debrief, i felt so useless as a person, as Pub and Flowers IC.

but i really felt very happy afterwards, thanks to citygate. man i love woankeng and the rest of the citygaters. went to party at sakae and it was very very funny. like how daryl exposed woankeng’s sick jokes to the girls and trying to take pictures with the sushi conveyor belt. haha i think we disgraced hwachong to the max down there. but it was fun and lifted my mood for the whole day. so did mrs. ang and ms. sophie who were very very very nice and funny for both worksessions and TD itself.

citygate! (koped from some rollaround)

i am very excited about monday, because we’re finally gonna scaffold again after so long. and more importantly, i’m gonna get the Secret OST i pre-ordered at HMV.

i just did the DISC personality test as part of some testing for our PW. Out of 100- dominance 28, influence 40!, steadiness 16, compliance 16. i think it’s not very accurate but some parts sound nice la haha. i like the fact that they said i’m not compliant. “Free in thought, word and deed, they long for freedom and go to great lengths to achieve it. They feel that repetitive detail and routine work is best ‘delegated’.”

i like this description a lot. though how far i’ll go to get what i want, i’m not so sure.

edit

i just did the Jung-MBTI personality test and it’s true beyond true in my opinion. because i’m so narcissistic and self-loving, i specially created a page for it and you can now see it above.

/edit

interesting but all the same, i’ll go eat rojak and drink kopi now hahahaha