Hope i do not stumble over the phrase tmr. Good luck everyone having OP…

Anyway, went to take an MBTI test with a different set of questions than the one on humanmetrics, and results showed that i’m an ENFP, not an ESFP?! goodness i got such a huge shock that i went back to the one i took before and retook it. there it showed i’m still an ESFP, but my Sensing characteristic dropped by a huge margin. so probably not far off from an ENFP. well lets see…

ENFPs are introspective, values-oriented, inspiring, social and extremely expressive. They actively send their thoughts and ideas out into the world as a way to bring attention to what they feel to be important, which often has to do with ethics and current events. ENFPs are natural advocates, attracting people to themselves and their cause with excellent people skills, warmth, energy and positivity. ENFPs are described as creative, resourceful, assertive, spontaneous, life-loving, charismatic, passionate and experimental.

“They can’t bear to miss out on what is going on around them; they must experience, first hand, all the significant social events that affect our lives.” - The Portrait of the Champion Idealist (Keirsey) “ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.” - Portrait of an ENFP (The Personality Page) “Friends are what life is about to ENFPs, moreso even than the other NFs. They hold up their end of the relationship, sometimes being victimized by less caring individuals. ENFPs are energized by being around people. Some have real difficulty being alone, especially on a regular basis.” - ENFP Profile (TypeLogic)

“outgoing, social, disorganized, easily talked into doing silly things, spontaneous, wild and crazy, acts without thinking…” - ENFP Jung Type Descriptions (similarminds.com) “ENFPs are energetic and enthusiastic leaders who are likely to take charge when a new endeavor needs a visionary spokesperson. ENFPs are values-oriented people who become champions of causes and services relating to human needs and dreams. Their leadership style is one of soliciting and recognizing others’ contributions and of evaluating the personal needs of their followers. ENFPs are often charismatic leaders who are able to help people see the possibilities beyond themselves and their current realities. They function as catalysts.” - ENFP – The Visionary (Lifexplore) “Ranked 1st of all 16 types in using social and emotional coping resources and 2nd in using cognitive resources. “ - ENFP Facts (discoveryourpersonality.com)

i was extremely intrigued by the differences, so i searched ESFP on that site again.

ESFPs are cooperative, “here and now” people-persons that enjoy excitement and love new adventures. Because of their highly social nature, they are especially lively when they are the center of attention and hate being alone. ESFPs have a practical side that allows them to finish work efficiently and are often good problem solvers.

“For the ESFP, the entire world is a stage. They love to be the center of attention and perform for people. They’re constantly putting on a show for others to entertain them and make them happy. They enjoy stimulating other people’s senses, and are extremely good at it. They would love nothing more than for life to be a continual party, in which they play the role of the fun-loving host.” - Portrait of an ESFP (The Pesonality Page) “They love the excitement of playing to an audience, and they try to generate a sense of “showtime” wherever they are. Performers are not comfortable being alone most of the time…” - The Portrait of the Performer Artisan (Keirsey) “outgoing, social, group oriented, dislikes science fiction, does not like to be alone” - Jung Type Descriptions (ESFP) (similarminds.com)

“ESFP like action and excitement, and are able to link together people and resources. Because they accept and deal with people as they are, they are able to understand what is necessary in order to motivate them to get jobs done. They prefer a work setting that is lively, action oriented, and harmonious.” - ESFP – The Joker (Lifexplore) “The dominant function of ESFPs (Extraverted Sensing) is concerned with the reality that is perceived through the senses. This type’s prime directive is to examine the tangible through taste, touch, sight, feeling and hearing. ESFPs’ need for new experiences surely results from this function.” - ESFP Profile (TypeLogic)

BUT I STILL DON”T KNOW WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE. So i should just focus on the similarities when i want to know myself, haha.

I shall tell myself that this helps me with my PW somehow, haha. And i feel very narcissistic indeed. okay bye and good night haha.

hahaahhahahah!

it was unbelievably fun yesterday. much more so than any other event that we’ve had so far. my makeup was thick and i didn’t expect anyone to recognise me in that (lack of) light. but chinguan did hahahaha as well as a couple of girls i don’t know who. yeah i couldn’t identify anyone at all, cause i didn’t dare look straight into anyone’s faces. smacked a couple of male asses and flashed to a few people (do you want to see my inside), but otherwise stuck to my routine of chasing people into the crawl-hole and outta the door. a few troublemakers here and there, but everything was otherwise okay. scaring people is really fun. anyway, i’ve lost my virginity voice and my throat is really really quite fried now.

according to benpoh, 15 people mistook him for me and asked him if he’s simchun. geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee people i’m in maze not trail!

Edit: Forgot about this, but 1) sorry everyone who couldn’t get tickets cos it sold out so imba fast. 2) thank you mazeco for making this short ride such a success! and plenty of fun and pleasure as well haha. good job yee and ying.

i think this song is very nice it’s been on repeat mode for 2++ days already.

jaychou!!!!!!

SIGH. this is depressing. ms liew, the first teacher i met and knew when i stepped into college. the ct i thought was anal about the rules initially, but came to know as an infinitely friendly, helpful and most of all, caring personality. every time i stepped onto the stage, from campfire night and dramafeste to council & fac head elections to council duties and events. she’ll always send a long encouragement message telling me not to worry, everything will go fine etc. and writing me a card on my birthday. as well as all the heart-to-heart talks that we have occasionally. and not to mention being the first person to laugh at my cold jokes and stuff. i think she’s the most most thoughtful and caring teacher i’ve met this year. i like her a lot.
mrs ang is different. when i first saw and knew her from election period and upon getting elected, i thought she was one of those old teachers who were anal about the rules and nothing else. but i respect her a lot now. not to mention the fact that she’s really really nice to me now, which i suspect is for the fact that dared to stand up to her, though quite comically. okay to be fair not only me la. a lot of the councilors also said that she’s very funny and caring and all. which i agree with. it’s so sad that she has to leave after more than 3 decades at the school. and in 34th’s mid-term. i like her a lot too.

mingte sent me a couple of jaychou’s new songs just now. one of them is very very nice as usual sigh. i’m selling my 20-dollar-pre-ordered copy to jack cos i want the 45 bucks one from HMV. got his figurine or something suwen said. ahhhhhhhh.

okay everyone come for Scream! i foresee myself being dreadfully embarrassed but nvm la, it’s just like another stage experience. only the audience is much smaller and closer this time.

these few days have been surprisingly tiring. went for HIC with the proed hpers… going back as reigning champions we were consistently comparing the standard of this year’s plays to ours. and reminisced about how we hard we prepared for it and how we owned on the night. but i have to admit, souffle was really good. but it was really fun while it lasted.

ah the new song is seriously very nice.

i’m gonna sleep soon night!

CONCERT!!!

i. am. so. going.

i feel so guilty for spending my parents’ money on him again but i so cannot say no!

it’s been 4 years.

i remember going with mingte and branden last time.

hmmmmmmmmm.

who wants to go this time ???????????????

mingte and me so far

comecome the more the merrier!!!!

knnbccb. today was a day of mixed blessings.

gp paper 1 i was feeling kinda satisfied for a 30.5 since i thought i wrote badly. but i was damn flattered by the marker’s comment that i am a ‘confident writer, with a nice style’. siaooooooooo.

but after that was compre return and it was disgustingly horrendous. 24 marks wtf. though it was okay compared to many others, but still. so overall my gp is nothing much to be proud of. C when i so badly wanted something better. but nvm, the highest in level is a 65? the proudest statistic is beating 77 percent of the cohort overall. so maybe it’s not very very bad la.

lit was plain effed up. everyone got damn high but i failed my friggin beloved and barely passed my unseen. i don’t want to say anything more i feel grossed out by my incompetence. D probably looks acceptable on paper but i effed up big time again and i know it. ihateme.

felt damn lethargic after that. walked around and slacked during scream informal wondering when to go for training. but saw yongjie and we went together. training was horrible. puked my guts out after a bit of running. and the coach came somemore. nabei he asked if i was sec 4 or j1. played like i’ve never played before, literally. sucks.

but went for dinner at adams with the team and it cheered me up quite a lot haha.

overall results:
GP: C
Maths: U
Econs: S
History: C
Lit: D

it feels awful to hear people complaining about their Bs and Cs (and in some cases, just a bloody pass) when i’ve to struggle so much just to hit a C or D. i wish people can be more sensitive, but it’s about personal expectations and it’s all my fault isn’t it.

kinda serves me right. boo i really want to work harder

i feel very happy cause i think i sneaked an S for econs. if they do like what they said and moderate then my 39.21 overall will be considered an S and i will be a very happy boy ah. maths 31% for promos LOL. and 29.35% overall. gosh this is remarkable. 4g gang owned yet again. hazel got 30 and nickfoo 34 and jackson 39 and yada yada i feel happier getting a lower mark so i don’t feel so geksim for missing S by a bit. so following the papers i have gotten back already i have a C U S. i pray for a good grade for GP and Lit tmr.

and i saw mr ng again today, he’s just come back! it’s been 4.5 months since he left and we didn’t even notice. i hope one day we can go back and talk to him…

okay i’m off to chiong pw again. it’s ending soon rahhhhhhhhhhh i must do something substantial.

Well i just wasted my weekend on the computer and rereading Neil Gaiman’s American Gods, which i remember clearly was what ng soo nee recommended to us two years ago. i think it’s a pretty good read. ah i kinda miss miss ng. though i remember her also for being curt with us quite often. and in UK when she pumped our group in front of everyone cos we didn’t clear up after the night’s dinner. man. but she was a very interesting and competent teacher, no doubt about that.

watched a couple of capoeira videos, read about capoeira history and played the brazilian capoeirista on fatalfury3, quite fun. there was a sense of pleasant familiarity seeing them do the ginga that we’ve been taught during the first day of the sabbatical.

tried my best not to think about what i’ve been thinking about for the past few days. and had mild success. anyway, now that it’s over, i feel more or less empathetic towards her. so what we’re talking about are the attitudes, not the persons, don’t get me wrong. i guess ben have put it more coherently when he said that

we are humans, and we have feelings and emotions
by separating work and normal relations is a stupid thing
i do agree that work means work
but that doesnt mean that when you work
you detach yourself entirely from human emotions
by then, you should ask yourself, “are you a human at all”

yeah look past the lousy grammar/language and you’ll see the light.

i guess the weekend’s given me a temporary reprieve from thoughts about bad stuff. and the bad stuff themselves. but i guess it does make me come out stronger in the end. learning to not let the little things affect me, not to take everything personally, not to let my heart run my body. but ultimately i’m still me, stubborn old me. i do things for a reason.

anyway, just to continue being myself:

from hit “cowboy very busy” (direct translation) (which happens to be quite gaowei but very catchy and so unlike the style he’s loved for but whatever, it’s him)

anyway his new album ‘i very busy’ will be coming out 2nd nov. rejoice people!

ah i can’t wait. but to reach there i’ll have to get past OP and scream and most of all: PROMOS RESULTS.

come this tuesday i’ll experience doomsday. maths and econs on one day wth.

pray for the best okay byebye!!!

ps quote of the day: this is a students council, not a military camp with draconian rules – a certain master poh.

applaud.

well it went okay in the end to my great relief.

woke up at 5.45 to a very major heart attack (we were supposed to be in school by that time) and after running around my room in many many circles, got myself to wash up and go to school. was supposed to let the 3 cck/bpers take my car but sorry bryan, huiping and xinyi. hahaha they had to cab to school and ended up late anyway cause i didn’t pick up any of their calls while i was sleeping.

so i reached at 6.15 and tried to help out a bit. and anyway, tour-guiding was just a thorough chitchat session. and much people-watching. cause the turnout was quite dismal in the morning i thought. fac dance with jesslyn and batch/mass dances with wanjing were all quite funny, but good. very very enjoyable

then 1.10 arrived and ying and i stepped up to emcee. i thought the hardest part, which was the first few performances went relatively well cause there was much buffer time to fill in. and we smoked through it without many faults. the later parts, which were supposed to be easy, went quite screwed, maybe cause of the lack of practice. it was quite bad i thought. but oh well it’s over! and i don’t regret taking on this job (: good job ying (: (: and kheexuan and jiinshiuan. especially when i didn’t help out at all with the script.

on the previous post… well expectedly now that this is over and now that i’m broody i guess i did overreact to a lot of things. and i am sure i’ll continue to adopt this attitude to council for the rest of my term. it’s something i really don’t like, and it’s not for my lack of controlling it. i understand, i know how this is how things work, but it doesn’t mean that i knew it before i joined, or i like it now. i still hate it. it destroys the bond between me and people. so sometimes i do envy those who like this system, and who can draw a clear line between work and relationships. for me, people are people and no matter what you’re dealing with, tact and EQ remain forefront.

well, it’s my opinion and overall, i guess i don’t really hate them. it’s just that i really can’t stand this particular aspect of how things work. shiwei has suddenly become a nicer person since i last lost my temper at him for making me tuck in my shirt. maybe he’s been nice all the while, just that his way of enforcing the rules was pissing me off. so now that he doesn’t snap at me for being rebellious gives me one less reason for me to complain now.

aiyah i’m gonna stop. it doesn’t make sense to ramble on and on about stuff that i’ve no control over. i only want to confide in people who actually share the same sentiments, albeit on a much less extreme scale. at least they’ll understand. contrary to what people might think, there are people in council i want to talk to very much. mostly woankeng, but i don’t mind talking to yappy, junshyang, kheexuan and a few more i think they’ll understand ah oh well.

i hope it all goes better from here.

i don’t know whether i should lock the following post, but whatever for now.

And i don’t know how to start at all, so i’ll restate the obvious. i hate council. i really do. though there are some people i feel really close to, i hate it. i hate it when you start shouting at people for no reason, i hate it when you bigshot just threatens and demoralises the entire team. i hate you (plural) for being so serious and i think i really got to witness the ugly side of you fully today. i halfway feel like ponning tmr or screw up what i’m supposed to do to let things flop. but i have no such impact. so whatever. whatever effort i’m putting in tomorrow, it’s for my own satisfaction, my own innate aa-ness and all. council my cock please. if no respect is shown to us, i don’t see why we should respect the people up there. after all, we’re students like you. no one knows how much it affects me to witness such scenes. i feel like tearing heads from shoulders and at the very least, letting loose my rude protest. but this is council, sadly, there is no point. i made my choice and hatred for it, i’m glad for people like wk who knows how i feel. but i like i said, no one truly understands the magnitude of my anger and abhor for it. and feeling guilty when the party is nice to me. but hating him/her the next moment. work destroys relationships. but maybe others, unlike me, are noble. they don’t care about how people feel as long as the end objective is achieved. so what if you have a successful open house? you just made people hate you. at least i do. good job at having 0 EQ. we put in our best, or at least i did. but we got your attitude and sarcasm in repayment. sometimes i wonder why i even bother to work so hard. for the school, yeah, and whatever. and tomorrow there’s emceeing to do. and now i can’t even get the mood right for myself. it sucks to the core.

and you know what. i hate people for loving these people. it irks me to no end.

like jijo said, college life really does make you feel so sad. i really hope i haven’t lost all my old bestest buddies.

i’m very incoherent like i always am whenever i’m moody, but…

i feel so alone.