JAYDABEST

Aresians vote for D(ARES)!
Arguably the best team in Ares in all aspects (save grammar).
No bias
SEE THEIR PRETTY HANDSOME FACES HERE
(see so dedicated we didn’t even come close to thinking of having an online campaign last year)

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Okay just a short blatant publicity slash advertisement. i hope they get in, haha.

went to meet woankeng kheexuan and junshyang last night after dinner and some strolling about with nick. damn long never talk to them so it was quite nice and enjoyable in their company. but i think i’m growing more and more retarded each day.

on a separate (or not so separate) note, i’ve also resolved to not spread a single secret that is not my own. except in special circumstances. and it will take very very special people/situations to pry open my from-now-on golden mouth. thanks. and i’ll gain back all the trust from everyone, rahhhh. i still rmb my not-so-long-ago post here and i really do feel guilty for not bearing certain things and restrictions in mind. but obviously i won’t let myself off the hook, because i know i simply cannot stop telling my close group of friends EVERYTHING about them one another on the basis that they are best friends and there’s nothing i should hide from them.

but these days it’s been getting much worse and pretty much spiralling out of control so i think i’ll really be more conscientious of what i say.

yeah.

i D(ARES) to shut up.

ha-ha i feel like a retard okay byebye!

remember, D(ARES)!

was a good day, because i did not waste the whole day on fifa or tetris or blog-hopping or googling/technorati-ing my own name hahahahahaha. speaking of which, i discovered that there are freaking a lot of march babies around. but 15th’s still the best date la, obviously already 4 guys including me in hc j2 share this special date, from what i know. anywayzzzzzzz.

today was really a good day, for 2 reasons.

1) _

2) dinner with yappy at kap hahaha. i think he’s the funniest person alive i think i get more abs from laughing with him than when i do 3 years of situps hahahahaha. it was really constant laughing for 3 hours straight laughed until jaws cramped and lips cracked and throat sored. but in spite of all the cock we also managed to set some things straight. and talk some very serious business hahahahahahaha. i love him and i hope we will continue gaying around like we always do HAHAHA

seriously, i’m not gay

short post tonight, because i’m sleepy and since _, i’m gonna sleep early tmr still got cheering zzz but okay byebye

Or probably nightmares. last night’s dreams were especially vivid and thought-provoking. The first i can’t remember much, but it ended off with me crying pathetically hard because i broke up with _ . The second i could remember in detail this morning but now i forgot most of it already. Anyway it also ended off with me crying extremely hard because in the dream i was unable to see my best friends again, for some reason. I think i was in a hot air balloon. or something that flies. i vaguely recall a fierce female teacher and benpoh and chaiyi/pingkan in the dream. we were enlisted in some secret mission that involved fighting and i ended up stuck with them for life and not being able to see anyone else outside the island/aircraft we were trapped in. and there were scenes of a lot of my classmates and friends, without me. scary.

Anyway, woke up this morning and luckily nothing around me was wet. i really remember crying very very hard and badly, for 2 times. i hope it doesn’t mean anything. if it means something, i hope it just means these people mean a lot to me or something along that line. sigh quite depressing.

today is a thoughtful day because i thought a lot. putting the things that happened to you in black and white really makes you reflect a lot. telling people about them too, serves the same effect. that’s why it’s so therapeutic for me to confide so much in so many best friends. can you believe that i consider 11 people my best friends? a few slightly bester than others. but i feel close to people easily and i’m quite proud of that.

met kevin for macs brunch yesterday morning after 7989571 years of not talking to him. it’s nice to talk to long-time-no-see people. feels very gay to whole day 1 v 1 with guys, but i’m not one who likes big crowds so i don’t mind.

okay i’ll update the exact details of my dream if i can recall, though i doubt i will.

bye!

Okay overall blocks’ been quite tolerable, haha.

SEA history on Tues was okay, because the format of the paper was such that what i spotted had a high chance of coming out and they all came out. Forgot a bit of stuff but i think won’t fail la. SBQ gg, did like half and couldn’t finish. zzz.

Maths and Lit today. Maths was quite LOL because it was the first time i went into a test as big as blocks without studying at all. (okay actually that had been the plan for a week already) anyway at 12.30 last night conscience struck me and i picked up my notes till 1.15 and went to sleep. cause i thought last minute studying for maths wouldn’t help much anyway. so i was pretty happy just spending my time studying herland on sparknotes and reading hernotes. -.- anyway, this morning on the bus i tried to cram formulae but cmi. hahaha so i tried sleeping. anyway in the end maths turned out to be pretty hard so a lot of people said gg but i’m sure most of them wouldn’t do really badly anyway. anyway i’m assured of lowest in class and how do you know i won’t get a 0 and get lowest in cohort or sth? i feel remotely painless about this. the only thing is that i’m freakin guilty at mr.tan cos 1 sin is the best (ok his name is tan wan sin slash tangent one sine it’s a non3-funny joke) anyway i was saying he’s been damn caring and helpful and nice, and tries quite hard to get us to improve and all. but no choice la. what’s done is done. there’s still a couple of next times left.

Lit was okay the first question on poetry comparison was rather hard the poems were quite meaningless i thought. and my herland wasn’t very well done in spite of my spending a few hours on studying it. anyway i forgot to bring my text so had to run to the library half an hour before the paper to borrow a copy (thanks claire) in the classroom when ms heng was checking my book i said sorry ms heng but she said “don’t sorry me, sorry yourself”. siao i really damn sorry for myself la. the week before blocks lose complex number notes (i think it’s still at kap) and the night before econs at 10 plus found out i lost inflation notes. luckily i borrowed calvin’s to read before econs cause it really came out zzz.

ANYWAY blocks’ over. quite a lot of last minute studying this time round i’m probably quite fortunate that what i’ve studied mostly came out, and what i didn’t want to come out mostly didn’t come out. if i fail then too bad la. maths is a sure U, the only challenge is hitting a double digit score. the rest of the subjects i hope i can pass. gp pls lemme get something not so disgraceful this time SIGH okay byebye hopefully i’ll update soon i don’t think i’ll like seeing this post at the top for long.

hahaha first and foremost thanks everyone who wished me happy birthday i am very happy haha. even though i was looking forward to receiving more than 60 wishes this year because of last year’s 50++, i had trouble hitting 50 this year haha. okay i know it’s quite stupid to go count hahaha but whatever la. anyway in spite of that i still have to say that i think the quality of the celebration matters more hahahahah.

last year i rmb like 10+ ppl celebrated for me on birthday night. this year only hazel and jijo and benpoh turned up haha but it was much better because we talked and reminisced and basically had quite an enjoyable and peaceful time. had sushi tei at raffles city and went to coffeeshop opposite NLB for 2nd dinner and like ben said it was pretty nostalgic. the many many days and nights and hours we poured into hrp in the library haha. anyway thanks guys

pre-birthday birthday celebration was love too. hahaahahhahahhaahah. 5/8

anyway it marked the end of the march holidays, which in hindsight entailed a lot a lot, non-academically perhaps. but much more significant and special and rewarding.

and today the class sang birthday songs for calvin and me. anyway, happy birthday adidas and nike and converse and whatever superstar you want hahaha. kevin’s birthday is tmr so happy birthday in advance

anyway, history P1 was okay, only i wrote very little and had no time to finish everything i wanted to write. only four content paras per essay i hope i wouldn’t do too badly. gp compo and compre were both okay, only that i didn’t finish my AQ for compre. econs was slightly easier than expected but i don’t know whether i’d pass or not. the last qn they asked what i would suggest to improve the Vietnamese economy i said something like sack the current Finance Ministers and hire more capable personnel to be “advisatory” (i spelled it wrongly somemore omg) roles to the government after writing two points out of the 3 they asked for. Anyway at 3.14 (she stopped us at like 3.16 or 3.17) i realised that that is not an economic policy so i canceled the entire para and wrote 6 lines of crap in 30 seconds. but probably still better than asking the government to sack themselves and hiring new ministers.

i think i’m gonna fail SEA history tmr because i feel damn tired and slightly headache-y and my nose ran cross-country for the whole of today. and the effing painful sore throat that’s been here since yesterday. So i bloody cannot focus. and my mind is very tired also. my eyelids feel heavy and i feel like sleeping.
ZZZZZZZZZZ two more days only i cannot believe i have such little patience and stamina.

edit: i think i’m gonna spot a bit for SEA history tmr. a bit only hehe. am prepared for consequences

and you would think that i’ve done a lot of it but NO it’s been a miserable 2 days trying to absorb econs notes and produce some freaking complex complex numbers and vectors and whatnot. i think it really serves me right that i’m trying to accomplish in a few days what others have done in one term. and the worst thing is, i don’t think i’m even trying at all. can’t focus and the moments i can i just drown in self-pity and despair because i’m lagging like shit. and certain distractions… they’re there whether they’re there physically or not. i am freaking weak-minded and the worst thing is to know that and not do enough to improve. it’s a vicious cycle that forces me to lag even further when i start realising every time how much i’ve missed out. and lose all hope and motivation. and god, that’s not even counting j1 stuff. i feel stuck, in all sense of the word. i repeat, if i don’t U econs and maths i tok.

but for a change today i got back my lit assignment from auggie and i’m bloody happy. 27.5/50 i think it’s relatively better than our class people. i think it’s quite a trivial thing but this is really the first time in jc i have something academic to feel proud of. and there are actually compliments inside the paper that i grinned upon seeing. it feels so good to do well in a subject that’s supposed to be your favourite among the rest. i’ve been getting too many effed up essays back, gp and lit.

was on 67 just now and there was a totally screwed up traffic jam at upper bt timah. it took a bloody 45 mins to get from the stops after hillview to the stop before ten mile. i fell asleep, so when i woke up i was expecting to be reaching already. but i saw what’s outside and i just fainted la. expected to be home by 8.30 and at 9 i was still at the place i was supposed to be more than half an hour ago. anyway the point is, i got frustrated and pressed the bell and yay i crossed the bridge and took the LRT home. doesn’t matter if the bus zoomed off right after i got down. or not. the point is i’m satisfied to have done something. haha it’s really good that whenever choices are in front of you you take the more reckless and daring one sometimes. okay this is damn far from my bus stop thing but yeah really. i read before that not making a decision is also a decision. so i conclude that one needs more balls in life.

i think the rain these few days makes the atmosphere quite poetic and tranquil and peaceful. though i freaking cannot stand the temperature. but studying in school at the benches needs a lot of willpower because i tend to stare at the rain for full minutes at a go. it’ll really be damn nice to just sit there and rot and enjoy the surroundings.

hahahahaha okay in spite of blocks starting this friday and 0 motivation to study i’m happy la.

okay byebye.

the past week has been an emotional rollercoaster. i think the term is overused, hah. but it’s true la. Anyway, everything’s going uphill now so i pray it goes smooth from here

On the other hand, if i don’t get U for maths and econs for blocks i tok.