JAYDABEST

but not very happy zzz.

1) i have a mild fever now so i’m staying home today while my mum and sis visit more aunts on my mum’s side and my dad ran off to visit his friends. wah, 2 years ago also like that, last year it was also sometime around this period i got mono. so i don’t like cny anymore, i always fall sick. worse still, i can’t eat the heaty goodies!!! pissed man.

2) work is boringgggg even though i’ve only worked for 2 days (because of the delay caused by the lack of an o levels cert, again). it’s like, i only realised “admin work” entails sorting out and filing and summarising and consolidating piles of information and numbers and data and stuff. the upside is i have a lot of freedom? yeah. the people there are nice so far even though no one’s anywhere near my age (in this unit at least). and it’s a chinese unit so i got to experience first hand how (ex) chinese teachers converse with one another, chengyus and stuff etc. included. i thought my chinese was good, but 20% of the time it takes awhile to register what they’re saying, esp the more technical terms. and i have access to MOE classified info!!! like er, past year A level chinese question papers. ha ha. in short it’s dead boring and the knowledge that i’ve to stay till 31st march earliest is quite dreadful. the pay’s quite little, 50 bucks for 8.5 hours a day. but heck, i’m past caring about that.

3) i think i’m going to run out of things to wear to work soon i don’t want to wear jeans!!! and i only have 2 proper pants, one of which is new and hence not altered/washed yet. the other i wore the other day. wah, headache. though like 2 weeks ago i went to john little with junshyang and grabbed 3 shirts and a pair of pants on sale. budget budget office wear ugh.

4) i rarely get to meet up with the guys and nick. hazel i’ve seen the most, but actually only for an average of 2 or 3 times a week. junshyang and woankeng maybe once per week or two. kheexuan’s enlisting already. ahhhhhh. though i’m thankful the 4 of us got to go out for one last time before kx goes in. nick has school and tuition and dance as usual. zzzzz. i want to meet up with more ppl!!! so far i hope next weekend when calvin and yuxuan book out then plus qinsheng we can all go out man. but then again i can’t have too many dinners outside with people cos i’ll have work early morning the next day, plus work, once again, has made me er, more thrifty! so yes, go home for dinner. mmm.

5) i wanna enlist nownownownownow!!! went out with jijo yappy and hazel on sat and heard the army stories walao eh sounds freaking fun man. but the novelty of it will be lost by april la. pissy i wanna shave and live on tekong nownow!!!

hmm so my new year consisted of going to my maternal grandma’s place for the first time in a year haha. walao eh babies and toddlers are damn cute gosh i want a baby now!!! basically spent the entire day playing with my baby cousin and sitting around talking to the cousins. though i’m not close to any of them now i guess, both sides. actually i realised i’m not very close to any of my family members. hmm. wonder why i’m not very bothered.

k that’s all for now i need to go and do home-work!!!

That pretty much sums up my day. Even taking into account the lack of interesting things happening to me right now, this still deserves a highly honourable mention up here. I am very angry, very very angry.

So this evening i took 154 with Nick back to her home, and it was very very crowded it being rushhour and all. So picture a full bus. And we were at the front of the bus, moving in. Then this man who looked 40 plus prolly shouted to the whole of the bus in Mandarin, OI EVERYONE MOVE IN. It’s like those primary school DM kind of shout. The busload of passengers all hushed upon the bark. Anyway, we moved further in and were waiting for the others along us to move in so we could do the same. THENNNNNNN. that asshole shouted at us to move in, like 2 or 3 times. because Nick was in her st nicks tshirt and because i didn’t really want to bother with uncivilised people, i said nth but just glared at him but he avoided my eyes, that noob. then we were reaching our stop, and one or two people got up from the seats next to us. dont ask me why, but when the bus reached, i didn’t feel like removing my hand from where it was blocking his way to further inside the bus, and pointed to the seat, innocently asking him to sit. So cute of me la, but he wasn’t amused and he shouted for the entire bus to hear, in Mandarin, that he WANTS TO GET OUT. at that point i lost my temper and i shouted back in chinese  I ALSO WANT TO GET OUT. then it was a shouting and staring match from there, he said to go out from the back and i retorted we wanted to get out from the front or something like that. Anyway so in the end we got out from the front, he from the back exit and Nick got a good stamp on his feet hopefully. he even pushed her what an asshole.

Looking back its damn childish la dont know why i even bothered to quarrel with such animals. But all the witty comebacks only came to me like after i got off the bus. and they’ve been coming non-stop ever since the scene keeps replaying repeatedly in my head, each with a happy ending aka witty comeback. Really damn damn pissed la such things get to me like shit esp there were so many ppl on the bus!!! Kinda embarrassing but being pissed kinda makes it alright to get the extra negative attention.

Anyway before that i was down for an interview for a telemarketing job with some Biofocus company or sth that does those wellness and beauty shit, spas massages facials and all i think. on the papers it said 15 bucks an hour so i was like WA WA WA this better not be a bluff or have some hidden rubbish under it. but i was like even if they cut by half i’ll still be quite happy, 7 bucks leh! horror of all horrors when…  long story short, it’s 6 bucks per hour  -.- the commission is not bad soso la, but telemarketing jobs are always hard what. So depending on how easy it is to get deals i’ll probably work for a couple of days first and decide then. at the most this holidays i’ll job hop lor sounds like fun.

Actually i felt a bit more relaxed after letting loose a few shouts hahahahaha i must be too pent up man. but then again anyone would have fought back he’s such an asshole la. albeit a stupid, uncouth, uncultured one but still…

Yeah anyway i’m beginning to feel quite stressed up about joblessness i really don’t want any random job and insufficient pay but i think anything will beat sitting around doing nothing like now. the past few days i’ve been looking calling sending really hard. (and rejecting some more i’ve called previously cos i changed my mind) it’s all the friends’ fault for finding theirs so fast when i still had other ideas in mind.

bumming around is teh suckz.

goodnight all, it’s quite a bad night sadly.

O level results came out today, my sis got 14 – 4 = 10 points and most probably putting CJ first choice! dunno good not. anyway. i am and have been fretting and panicking like shit over the A’s… crap. i think i will do real badly. the more i think about it the worse it gets. damn depressing. especially when i start thinking about my uni options… what’s there left? right now and for quite awhile already i’ve been thinking about business. and given my grades, guess no way i can even start pondering about leaving sg (for the better places of course) so i’m resigned to rummaging through the local u’s. but horror of all horrors, what if i can’t even hit those grades? thinking about this is like jumping into a pit, add the superlatives. there are scenes playing themselves over and over in my mind- bursting out crying in the hall/toilet/house/bus/etc. and planning my retake as private candidate during the weekends out of army. hope it’s not a prophecy.

in other (depressing) news, i am still unemployed. i’ve called up, asked, been offered and rejected a few already, mainly due to insufficient pay (like less than 7 bucks / hr). and just when i found this job to be an assistant to a drama/lit workshop conductor that pays 50 bucks for 4 hours of work, he says that i’ll only get to work like 2-3 times per week. means i’ll have too much free time and earn too little overall. and i’ve got to attend 3 training sessions over this week without pay, plus the informal one last saturday at his house. so i’ve decided to turn it down. that is also because of another job, one my dad recommended at PUB. (public utilities board, not the one can drink and watch soccer) anyway, he said his colleague said it’s a full time job, 7 bucks an hour, and very very very slack and free, like just walk around and take photos and slack off. so today afternoon i went for the briefing/interview. it was all briefing in the end and anyway it’s not 7 bucks, its 6.03 per hour. i dont want!!! cause right now they don’t freaking recognise my IP cert, and they want to see A level cert in black and white so it means i’m actually a PSLE cert holder only which is HUH?!?!? and anyway 6.03 is the o level rates. unless the HR department decides IP deserves better or decide that i will at least pass my A levels, i’m not going back. 6 bucks an hour nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. so now i’m ON THE HUNT again! classifieds, sgads, jobscentral, ten million other lousy job sites online. i think i’ll go down to challenger at funan tmr, there’s one on classifieds. i’m looking out for a sales one, because i don’t want an admin job. pity on me hope i find one that pays reasonably well soon. i think i’ll settle for a 6.50 per hour soon.

i feel like a full fledged adult now because i pay a billion dollars for a single bus or train ride. cost of transport in singapore is indeed ridiculously high. anyway, i also have a POSB card now!!! very grown up. and only the other night outside hazel pointed out to me i could use it as a NETTS card too i was like WOW. i honestly didn’t know! anyway i bought new shoes and a belt yesterday when i was out being gay and shopping with hazel. i thought i would get the freaking job today so i was very happy to spend. lesson learnt: don’t count the chickens before the eggs hatch. (or something like that)

i had Last Supper with yappy the night before he enlisted on 8th jan! i’m so touched he called me out at 9 plus pm hahahaha.

I FREAKING WANNA GO NS NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

and i’ve abstained from cold drinks for about a week plus now stupid phlegm and cough and whatnot. i’ve completed one whole course of medicine (plus plenty of panadols) since the New Year period but it didn’t help so a few days ago i went to see a Chinese doctor and got meds from her and yay i think i’m on my way to recovery already. the phlegm is still quite green though, and very thick. i’m damn heaty she said but i can’t stop eating unhealthy spicy/fried food it’s IMPOSSIBLE. anyway i’m quite sure i slimmed down since last year my old belt was tight, now it’s loose!!!

walao eh, I really wanna enlist now man doesn’t help that most of the friends are inside and everyone left freaking has a full, full time job UGH. and DearNick has school, dance, tuition, and whatnot. so either i get a good satisfactory job now or i ROT. hazel, qinsheng, woankeng, junshyang etcetc PLS  DATE ME OUT MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

SIGH SIGH A LEVELS AND LIFE. ONE BIG HEFTY BALL OF WORRY AND DEPRESSION AND MURDER. speaking of hefty, i owe the school library more than 40 bucks. damn you cleaner auntie who dumped my two library books. that’s an entire day’s work or more for me.

haha anyway i spent a lot of time (relative to usual standards) talking to my sis just now about JCs and all and probably her worry for CJ is like it being a mission school and all the Christians and angmoh pai people inside. the alternative is NYJC. but CJ is better right……… no? plus it’s nearer to home, though not by much. JCs are all cluttered away from the west. and all the school talk reminded me, i once heard from a friend that the NJ ppl think that HC ppl are the muggers and cheenabongs and geekyshit. but i was like wa, isn’t that EXACTLY what we think of them? my sister’s friend said she heard Cat High guys are desposhitz, but i think i’ve heard about 5 other guy schools branded the same already. and i thought cat high was supposed to be quite coolz. actually i don’t know. haha i’m out of school already, no more such amateurish politics! so HECK. not my problem. but seriously, it’s these moments i really feel damn proud of HC, and like i actually BELONG in HC. seriously, i really love Hwa Chong. seriously really absolutely truly!

and….. i just felt like saying, i actually love Council.

no regrets despite everything (:

really really (: (: (:

shit man being sick sucks everybody’s entering army in less than 5 days frantically trying to plan last minute outings gatherings stayovers whatnot. calendar: class chalet tmr to 5th, outing and stayover with hazel jijo and co. game on tues. but fever came back and i’ve a lot of sick green phlegm which means i’m coughing my lungs lifeless practically 24/7 so chalet tmr it’ll probably be lucky if i can join for more than half of it already. calvin’s enlisting on the 6th, yuxuan somewhere around there too zzz. so byebye you all. jijo yappy benpoh enlisting 7th or 8th so byebye also. so the game is gged cos i can’t do anything like running in this state anyway. bachelors party with wk js jy bryan ben yap sw ystd was quite fun, save the coughing thru the entire night and feeling breathless and all, and not sleeping much.

zzzzzzz fever’s on and off, damn irritating. what shit timing, always like that k;ajdfkla;a and my parents will not approve of all my stayovers and shit zzzzzzzzzzzzz pls dont tell me 2009 will be another sickly year.

Hihi people i’m finally energised enough to type out this post… falling sick on the last day of 2008 is perhaps an apt way to end the sickly year. thanks mono aka kissing fever. sucks la, had plans to go out with xmas eve gang hazel jijo ben they all to countdown. but so suay i must fall sick so they all didn’t go at all. nvm la at least it’s one of the shortest fevers ever already i’m okay now already. hopefully i’ll be able to join the guys tmr.

So, 2008. It was truly a year that flew by. Can’t rmb much, but what made my year:

1) O1. The most defining moment of being a councilor. Leading an OG. that’s addictive.

2) CNY Pub with Woankeng it made me very proud and i never knew publicity was so fun.

3) More sleeping and letter-writing in lectures.

4) More morning announcements but less publicity videos.

5) More outings with my closest friends.

6) Of course, meeting Nick, and going thru all that we’ve gone thru. 10 months, not easy yeah.

I kinda regret not giving notes to classmates and the 34th. in any case, many many people touched my life, some more than others. I also hate many people, but i’d like to think that i left HC not really hating anyone completely. Like last year, i want to thank many people:

1) Class Clique: Calvin, Qinsheng, Yuxuan

For spending most of our JC lives together. I think back to the first day in J1 i saw you guys and i didn’t really visualise the 4 of us together, out of all the other guys. i haven’t even spoken more than 5 sentences previously to Qinsheng even though he was my classmate for 2 years. And Calvin whom i’ve known since 8 years old but haven’t spoken to directly before JC. And Yuxuan whom i’ve seen around but never talked to. Even though i am the target of every single prank/joke/insult i am proud to say my tolerance level has permitted me to take everything in stride and so all the while i’m pretty happy la (: Thanks for all the lesson chitchats, the stayovers, dinners, and many outings. And of course, heart to heart talks, sometimes alone. those are the most important.

2) Council Bests: Woankeng, Junshyang, Kheexuan, Junjie

For our random outings. For helping out with council work (at least for the first 2). For all our separate heart to heart talks. I can’t even rmb when and why and how i started talking to you all it’s like so random. Everybody from different comms, consortiums, but coincidentally you’re all artemisians. hmm. the only sentence Woankeng was capable of saying to me before june 07 was ‘why you flash at me’. oh ya. thanks to MAF citygate, i got to know Woankeng as a very talkable friend. mmm. Junshyang i don’t know when we started talking since knowing him in magazine attachment in sec 3.  probably cos of Teachers Day comm i guess? also cannot really rmb. Kheexuan i mostly rmb one night very emo and i felt uncharacteristically nice so we talked over a long dinner and after that the 4 of us all sort of clicked, somehow. junjie is different. but i had a lot a lot of memorable dinners and heart to heart talks with him and i think he’s the person who can make me laugh the most. and yay for joining us for Vietnam and random outings (:

3) Old Bests: Hazel, Jijo, BenPoh, Kevin

For mugging together, for keeping up and going out. and going out a lot, for the first 2. And as usual, all the heart to heart talks. Hazel and Ben since Sec 1. Kevin since primary 3. Jijo since sec 3. Hazel’s a weirdo and an autistic, mute boy but he’s probably the person who knows me the best, out of everyone. And the most constant friend around. Jijo’s close in another way, and so is Benpoh, even though we haven’t talked properly in ages. Kevin only hangs out with me once in a blue moon but i’m glad we can still talk after long droughts.

And of course, NICOLETTE MOK my love. nothing much to say, just know that I LOVE YOU

Of course there are more people around i’ve felt close to these 2 years, and talked to a bit. Like some of the other councilors i like more, Jinyang and Bryan best bus partner for example. Also wanna thank Weiguo for being the bestest kindest nicest least demanding easiest to bully Pubco chair ever, Ngehwee for being a supportive, creative, bubbly fellow MOCHIE. Councilors who’ve been nice friends, not very fair to name some and not name others so i shall stop here haha. If you think you’ve been a friend, i’m sure you are (: and thanks. As well as other ppl in a13 who’ve been better friends, the 3 girls jesslyn jessa and eileen (: and olivia and tracee for tagging here so often (:

On the flipside, 2008 has been a year of intense depression, and huge D’s they were. i won’t hide the fact that it’s because of my inexperience at being in a serious relationship and all… no details but yeah, love is hard. have cried uncountable fountains, thought so many times of killing myself and all, filled 3 diaries full and hiding it from everyone (or maybe not)… But thankfully it all stopped before the big A’s arrived. Grades were horrendous the whole year, so right now i’m really, really worried for my future too, because i don’t dare to bear too much hope for presentable A level results. Anyway thanks to the above people who have been great sources of comfort whenever i felt like talking. thanks especially to Calvin for being Dr. Love and it helped a lot a lot, really. I have great friends.

Also thanks to family for not probing when i was down this year, and being nice. and not complaining when i’m being an asshole.

Last year my biggest regret by far was not getting Fac Head. Of course i still feel sad at that, and i still wish i got it. but yeah time is good it heals everything. almost, anyway.

This year my biggest, biggest, biggest regret by far is definitely getting MONO ON POST ORIENTATION PARTY!!!!!! WTH I WANTED SO BADLY TO EMCEE IT, DO THE 07 FAC DANCE AND 08 FAC DANCE AND ANNOUNCE ARES’ WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! wth. i can safely say it’s a once-in-a-lifetime chance MISSED. it was real torture lying in my bed that night thinking about what could have been…

hmm i wish the twilight series had more than 4 books. haha i think robert pattinson is hot.

okay thats all i’m quite tired already. i’ve been at this since morning 11 am or so? haha. all because it’s so hard to find photos with the right people inside. it’s always one too many. zzz. at least there’ll be things to look forward to the coming few days. Good luck everyone enlisting i’ll be enviously looking on. byebye!!!