JAYDABEST

Have you ever felt like you’re not existing in this space, this time? That’s how i feel now, and have been feeling for the past 48 hours, even at work. Probably due to the fact that (surprise surprise) i fell sick again and i haven’t fully recovered so my mental being is sharing space with space or at least that’s how i like to think of it. I’m perpetually feeling nauseated and bloated and hungry and full and gurgly simultaneously, don’t ask me how. A lot of air inside me. And i’m sleepy, but can’t really sleep well, at least the few times i tried so far. the past 2 nights i went to bed 12.30 or so, but entered dreamland after 1 and 2 respectively. nvm, i’m going to sleep by 11 tonight. Work was quite nightmarish today, it was like being trapped in some concentration game, because i was so sleepy i was yawning every 5 seconds seriously. was damn tempted to take half the day off to go home and sleep, but quite counterproductive given i just took 2 days to rest.

Anyway, i broke a new record! no, not the most unlucky person in the universe record for losing my first Valentine’s Date to a freaking virus. but, on sat night my fever hit 39.6 and sustained about 39  on average for the rest of the night. as usual i puked a lot and yada yada. but what’s different this time was i felt really hot after awhile. like completely burning up, heat radiating from every inch of my body. and i fried my brains, because all that kept running through my mind were:

1) songs… “cause you’re hot and you’re cold, you’re yes and you’re no…” “don’t you wish your girlfriend was hot like me” and i forgot what else

2) i’m a fire pokemon, charizard, magmar? or a digimon. flamethrower you dead. or i could use the move Explosion.

3) i’m the Xman guy. “flame on!!!” then i thought of junshyang’s face then very funny.

4) my funeral. choy choy touchwood touchwood. but i always picture that whenever i fall sick.

5) i’m delirious… delicious. ha-ha. roasted simchun.

And i wonder why i can’t fall back asleep, hah.

Okay i still feel extremely zoned out. i think i’m really going to brush my teeth and sleep already. good luck me. life feels pretty meaningless actually. like i’m just ploughing through the days, awaiting results and then army. i like work, but i don’t like work. i like staying at home, but i also don’t like staying at home. i’m a bag of conflict. hope sleep does me good. wake me up when february ends. ha-ha.

Anybody wants to give tuition to a sec 4 boy, E Maths and Chem?

Stays in the east.

sms me 91595082, thanks.

okay so i caught benjamin button today with hazel and jijo.

I felt it was pretty touching, though a tad draggy at parts. every time i catch a love story i’d wonder why it’s so much sweeter than real life, though the complications are always more dramatic and i guess, cruel. i think  love is much purer in fiction, more everlasting and i get really envious sometimes. but i guess there’s a reason why stories remain as stories. i think i’m quite a sucker for tear jerkers they’re quite effective on me i always feel so into the characters really. note: i also like to escape from my own set of problems.

took leave to go back to watch orientation with qinsheng yesterday. mainly the same games we all played and conducted ourselves. okay, so last year i got the worst deal of the lot aka a certain topsy-turvy (you’re forgiven if you don’t know what’s that ha) and some other random rubbish, as opposed to qs the lucky bastard who got slippery slope (!) and swoosh the bench sliding scissors paper stone shit. anyway i just want to screammmmmmmm i really miss being being being an OGL, and even my own unfun orientation. i miss the orientation atmosphere, hearing my own voice cheering and commanding the once-untainted j1s now j2s. walao, it’s really really the best best part about joining council, and maybe even the bestest part of college life.

we also talked to some of the teachers, like ms yang!, mr ngoh and mr rem so fun. ms yang’s the best haha we talked about the 35th and how they’re like. and at some point it became sort of like an issue of whether discipline + rigidity + efficiency (=34th) or fun + flexibility + EQ/relationships (=35th) is better. okay those are relative and from prospectively tinted points of view but still, maybe i should have been born a year late hahaha. i hate(d) being bound so super strictly and tightly to the stupid rules we had last time. yes some of them were damn stupid. (read tucking in and fbts etc.) and and everyone were so damn harsh and work-oriented it was seriously quite unbearable at times i wanted to quit on impulse. for me it’s a compromise la but i would have traded some efficiency and professionalism for a bit more laughter and joy.

oh well but it’s over anyway. when we look back it’s prolly mostly happy memories and nostalgia. if you want rants and complaints you can easily dig my archives i think got damn a lot haha.

speaking of benjamin, it’ll be benpoh’s 19th birthday on monday wow. happy birthday in advance army boy.

and i heard more army stories today from jijo walao ehhhhhhhhhhhh can i just say again i want to go innnnnnnnnnnn nownownownownow.

went to MGS on thursday for work, some conversational chinese thing the MOE chinese dept’s conducting for non-chinese-speaking kids. thurs at MGS was the training for non-professional teachers (read housewives and students and old people). anyway damn lame i went there to help give comments on their mock teaching (they very graciously and conveniently called me an intern wow haha) and my chinese suckssssssssssss i had to replace a couple of terms with english during my only time speaking and i felt freaking noob so it’s like malu malu but still it was damn fun and a nice change from the stifling office environment. even though it’s damn relaxing and i have about maximum freedom but the fact i’m waking up at 7 every day and sitting at a desk in the office till evening for most of the day doing boring repetitive admin labour is quite a putoff. my sleepiness level has hit a new high the later part of the week i’m really tired the past few days.

went to kap with QS after mgs, stoned and talked for quite some time. watched the j1 ogs pile in after awhile.

ok byebye i’ll update again soon. tmr it’ll be my ahma’s 82nd(?) birthday tmr. family’s going out for lunch followed by class gathering (finally) in the evening at kallang.

Happy Birthday Ah Ma!!!!!

Rotten day in short:

1) Woke up to  _____*(*$%&Q(#(2875#%&(#(*@ (insert 2894759481 expletives)_______. In summation, in spite of all the times i felt annoyed, pissed off, irritated etc by my Elders, thank god i’m my parents’ son, my grandmother’s grandson, my aunt’s nephew, etc. But then again i’m probably like this because of how i’m brought up too. I like being myself, and i won’t regret (almost) anything i do. Call me childish, stubborn, I stand by my stand and i don’t, won’t and can’t give in.

2) Gastric- i’m beginning to get this every morning till lunch at 12 plus. always feel superduper nauseated it’s literally morning sickness. can’t really eat anything too i don’t feel hungry. but at mealtimes when i thought i’ll be hungry actually i don’t have the appetite for much also. won’t be surprised if i lose 2 more kg before i enlist man.

3) Today was also the busiest day of my job so far. It’s just tedium and mundanity personified. Huge excel files and laggy internet at work kill me. But at least it keeps me more awake than usual.

But the one good thing was that i think i’m settling into my work i feel more involved and all now. even though i’m just a small fry temporary worker, it’s hugely satisfying to know my comments affect entire generations of chinese learners (hah) And all my colleagues / lao shi are very very very nice to me.

4) Rushed to have my haircut before the place closed. Reached home at 8.40 damn hungry and tired. saw grace on the bus but was too tired and surprised to finish saying a friendly hi so sorry grace if you ever read this haha.

Really very tired i’m just praying for every day to pass by quickly. Even if my a’s will suck it’ll be nice to dispense with the suspense. Wa i’m so poetic today. okay byebye.

Hello world it’s been a really tiring week!!!!

Work is dead tiring+boring. Actually like the first 2 days it’s still kinda relaxing cos i get a lot of freedom can go buy coffee and take short breaks though i haven’t really started utilising that privilege yet because i wanna create a good impression and suck up a bit. hahahaha but the other day my colleagues and boss all went for meeting so it was more slack than usual. most of my work for the past few days consisted of reading Lower Sec Chinese Textbooks rating the interest rates (i.e. how interesting they are) (ha-ha) of the passages. Every morning i fall asleep reading them. But now i know the difference between special, express, NA and NT streams, pardon the elitism.

And one day i had to sms Ms Liew and Ms Poh to ask them this question:

“May i know how much a bowl of soup noodles cost?” Does the ‘cost’ have an ’s’?????????????

It’s found in a chinese textbook, and apparently my colleague (i call them all Lao Shi) cannot change the entire sentence, only the presence of the ’s’. So at first i was like no s no s but after that nick and i both thought that should have s but then when ms liew replied she kept insisting that the sentence shouldn’t even stand and should be changed to something else which makes sense also so it’s just terribly confusing. this is supposed to be elementary… quite malu haha.

Anyway went out all 3 evenings after work! wed met wk js and his mag, thurs finally met qs! for dinner! haven’t seen him for about a month alr! and fri met nick for dinner so very very very tiring. saturday rested at home and today shopped with nick

Haha and i woke up damn late the past 2 days, 12.30 and 11.30 respectively. tired.

Okay now just looking forward to next week’s campfire night hopefully nothing screws up and i’ll be able to go back with the friends! actually i want to go back one of the orientation days and feel young again but got work ):

okay i am going to go for a haircut tmr finally!!! my own decision okay, not because everyone’s been telling me to (take that, nut:))

and ok i am going to do more home-work now. gosh i feel so hardworking.

forgot what i wanted to sayyyyyyy shit. okieeeeeeee BYEBYEEEE!